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It's really hard to write down what is going on in my head.
My thoughts are literally going 150 miles per second.
When I try to speak them I trip over my words, and when I try to write them down, they don't appear as good as they do when I think them. I still try my hardest though.
I entered two contests the other day.
One of them, I had a spaz attack over and had to try my hardest to remain calm.
The other I'm not too concerned about, because I have a small chance in hell of actually winning. Probably with the first one too. It took a good hour to force myself to relax, but it took longer to stop the negative thoughts that flaired up with each second of hope that worked up.
I'm so screwed up, it's stupid.
Sometimes I think I can do things by myself, and I don't need anyone else to be with me.
And then I realize how lonely I actually am.
.........
I wish I could admit that I need someone to be with me. Someone who is the complete opposite of who I am.
Which means they have to be close to perfect to deal with the complete mess that I am.
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:First Try- Brendon Urie
I'm a bit tired, but I'm saving my money up for once.
Work is awesome. I'm kinda sad I have to stop.
I don't post nearly enough on this journal, I'm aware of that.
- Mood:
indifferent
I found a neat cart in the mall when we stopped, that sells perfume oils, so my sister and I each got a bottle of a scent. She got Can-Can by Paris Hilton, and I got a bottle of rose scent.
My head's killing me. I'm probably gonna have to go to bed earlier tonight.
- Mood:
blah
Grandmother: Well nothing is on, except Polar Ice.
Me: ....Polar Ice?
Grandmother: Yeah, all the scary movies.
Me: ....Polar Ice?
Grandmother: Yeah.
Me: You saind scary movie?
Grandmother: Yeah, go watch it if you want!
Me: No, I’m just confused…. Is it about a snowman?
Grandmother: No, it’s about something coming out of a tv and ghosts.
Me: .....That's POLTERGEIST!
- Mood: amused
I've been dealing with a bunch of crap this month. I should start at the begining. I went to my cousins house over the weekend. When my grandparents picked me up on Sunday, they gave me some pretty shocking news: My sister was in the hospital.
Apparently she was bleeding from down there when it wasn't her people and dealing with pretty bad pain. So that worried me, but there wasn't much I could do. Monday we went down to the hospital (Sidenote: the same one I had my surgery at) where we found out that she had thrown a tantrum and they were moving to a different hospital because they didn't have the equitment to deal with her problem.
Tuesday we went back to the hospital where my grandparents left me to get a charger for her cell phone, and ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. My sister and mother had the BIGGEST fight of my entire life and my sis just started and screaming and swearing at every person she saw, and it just went bad to worse. Sercurity ended up being bought in, the nurses where talking about having her doctor give her a psyche test, and me. Apologizing to every damn person I saw. I felt so bad and I wanted to kill her. I went home, and pretty much passed out, dead tired. After, of course, dealing with my mom for three hours.
So, anyways, we finally found out what she has. Clamydia. Never heard of it? Let me inform you. It's an STD. Normally this wouldn't surprisie me, but let me clue you in on another fact.
My sister, my stupid, brainless sister, is fifeteen. Fifeteen. FIFE-FUCKING-TEEN! See, 15 years old does not equal, having sex, in my books. I swear, if she keeps this shit up, she's going to end up dead.
- Mood:
annoyed
What to say, ah I'm seventeen (at the moment) I love music, books and anime, I have a fondness for learning new things, especially different cultures and beliefs. I don't really follow a religion but I'm willing to listen to different beliefs and give them a chance. I love animals, I collet things that have no relation to each other XD and I usually go on instict and impulses for what I like or what to buy. I can speak a little bit of Japanese, Spanish, French and German, and I plan on fine-tuning these skills and adding more languages to the list.
I love to write and have created my own storyline and several charaters, but I have a fear of letting people read my stories. I love singing and making people smile and laugh.
My family life is hectic but I deal with it because I love my family. I have gone through depression and I'm getting over it little by little. I'm a lot better lately. ^_^
I have a cat that's the craziest thing but I love him. :) He makes me laugh.
I suck at spelling sadly. *Sighs* Usually needs the spellchecker for help.
I love reading. I have lots of books.
I can listen to almost any kind of music. And ENJOY it!
Eh, that's all for right now, I might right more latter.
- Mood:bouncy
